LifeGoesOn: November 2002

My boss is out of town. So right now...Im the boss! Although they're off the office, I still did my job and finished all assigned work for today. It just make me feel more relax and not loaded when they're out...and have much time surfing and reading my blogsmate post. I've nothing to share so I just printed all the Del Monte recipes in my email...I'm gonna try one today.

Well...thats all for today. Sorry I dont feel good.

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SAT...my brother moved to Cavite along with his family. Im gonna miss my nephew for sure. And another nephew of mine celebrated his 1st birthday and Baptismal at the same time. It was also my niece 2nd birthday.

SUN...my birthday. I had a little celebration within a family. My kuya's and their children came over. Some of my friends dropped a call to greet me othres texted and some came over but some totally forgot. ok lang :(

MON...I still received greetings from friends. Its better late than never sabi nga nila :)

TUE...waiting for my other forgetful friends...I still accept gifts :)

....hey! for those who think Im old...not really. My age is still in the callendar, middle 20's and scared to reach 30 without having my own family. I'm just afraid to be an oldmaid someday. You see I've got 2 oldmaid Lola's and 2 oldmaid cousins...and to be one of their member is a BIG NO-NO! Yet I'm still afraid of this signs Im counting on...

1. I became masungit to my disaster sister and nieces who always bring mess to our house.
2. Im now a home body and no time for night out.
3. Reading pocketbooks became my hobby.
4. I'm not entertaining any guys right now.
5. Because of my kaeng-engan I let the opportunity go and they all got married.
6. And my last boyfriend left me to marry this shitty girl who seduced him and accidentally got pregnant.T'was 8years ago and I was just 17 then but I'll never forget how painfull it was...damn him!
7. I always have this puzzled dream...I lost my pair of shoes/slippers and I was running in a long road with my bare feet.
8. To those who can read a palm line...see my palm. Any unwanted line?

...so what does it mean?

I feel restless today. I supposed to just stay in the house since I've been an hour late na but I decided to go to office na rin 'coz I thought staying in the house will make me feel more restless. But here is still the same. I'm not in the mood to work and I don't know what to do to take this restlessness off from me. I hate it ... a lot of things been entering to my mind and one of those scare me. I suddenly felt a strong fear of growing old and alone. And when I thought of my friends who've been enjoying with their own family and while the others were planning to get married soon, I thought Im being left behind. I didnt think of this before. I've been surrounded with a lot friends and I thought having myself free is a prize, I can do everything I want and I can go everywhere I want with no one stopping me (except my Dad na OA) and my guy friends were my boyfriends. But time has changed everything...one by one they got married. Others left the country and others moved to their provinces. Everybody got busy...so am I. We go on diff'rent ways and I just found my self alone in this path.

When I was in high school and was asked : "How do you see yourself 10 years from now?", I always answered : "Probably living with a simple life with my own family, having two kids and a loving husband". Ten years had passed and here I'am...still single. Well, the blame is on me. I dont know but everytime someone tried to show his affection towards me, my stupidity comes in. "How stupid I'am to ignored him and let him go." Too late to win him back 'coz he also got married. My friends said that I might be too picky, in a way I am 'coz I dont want to fall on the the wrong guy. Just like what happened to some people I know. Everytime I heard unsuccessful marriage, it added to my fear. I only want a simple family, It doesnt mean to be perfect, just complete with love.

It's 7pm and I'm still in the office. I've got nothing to post, and I've got nothing to do, thought of taking quizes I got thru misty (thanks!) to kill some time while waiting for the rain to stop...